july collective reading
remembering to feel it all & look for the good
The Five of Cups is typically symbolized by three cups toppled over, spilling, and two cups remaining upright and full. The reality here is that the glass(es) are half empty. It doesn’t just feel like there’s plenty of loss and missed expectations (three cups worth to be exact), and only bits of joy, hope, and trust (approximately two cups worth) — that’s how it is right now.
The Judge reminds us that in order to trust our internal discernment of what is safe and true, we have to see what is guiding our compass. When Fear is the guide, our judgment can get skewed really quickly.
Laid off. Bad News. Ignored Texts. Missed Expectations.
Three cups spilled.
During times of Uncertainty or Not Ideal Circumstances, we’re susceptible to going down a slippery slope of cognitive extremes:
Thinking Too Much: hyperfocusing to the point of catastrophizing
Avoiding It All: isolating and numbing out of fear of the Big Negative Thing again
Forever-izing: because this is how it is now, it will be like this forever
“It’s My Fault, I’m the Problem but Not in a Cute Way”: Too Much overthinking + Avoidance + internalized shame
The truth is that sometimes we find ourselves in seasons full of uncertainty and unpredictability. Where the dream dies, the plans change, the doors close, and you end up at a dead-end for what feels like the tenth time in a row.
This is where we have the choice of whether we react out of our Fear or respond with Connection. Sometimes those shame spirals stem from where we just came in the Four of Cups, a desperate need for isolation and rest after tiring out socially and emotionally. Sometimes after burnout, we can isolate too close to the sun and burn ourselves with shame.
The first step is acceptance that through is the direction forward, the second step is compassion with ourselves that this is All Happening. We have to acknowledge the loss of what we thought would be and accept the reality of what is, and only then can we feel all that comes up in the process of getting there.
The anecdote here is Connection — to our bodies, to each other, and to the world around us. By reconnecting with our body, we can remember that we can get through this because we’re not really alone; we’re just really in our heads. After all, no feeling or season is forever — it may be longer than we want, but it’s not forever.
And that’s the lesson here is whether we do it now or later, we have to feel it all. Even if we don’t want to, especially when we don’t want to. And that means feeling it in our body.
The path most traveled for a lot of us is to notice the Big Negative Thing and shut down, doomscroll, and avoid. There’s a big difference between thinking about a feeling and letting ourselves feel and process that emotion.
Once we’ve reconnected with our felt-experience, we quite literally have better use of our senses. We can look around and notice things we missed before. That while most hope may be gone, not all hope is gone — we notice there are two full cups to keep us going. In order to experience joy, we must also experience our sadness. Or we run the risk of missing out on feeling altogether.
So this month, let’s find our way back to our body, feel it all, and go easy on ourselves when Unexpected Things Happen. Journal it out, book a rage room, schedule an appointment with the therapist, hop on that yoga mat, call a friend, go for a walk in nature, overshare with your friends, make art through your feelings.
Whatever helps us move through the big stuff to make it smaller, wipes our brow from sweating the small stuff, and helps us arrive back in our body — let yourself have that.
Allow Grief over the three spilled cups and what looks different than we thought it would. Don’t get stuck there too long, though. There are two full cups waiting for us to recognize that Goodness is ours too & was there all along, too.
Until next time,
Dive Deeper
🌿 WHAT TO WORK WITH
Emotional boundaries with self
Window of tolerance
Lack vs. Abundance mindsets
Choosing to Feel over Dissociate
✍️ JOURNAL PROMPTS
Mind: Is anything going differently than you expected? Personally or collectively.
Body: What feelings do these differences in expectations and reality bring up?
Spirit: What helps you remember that good things always come?
🔮 Mantras
It’s okay to feel my feelings. Whatever comes up.
This, too, shall pass.
I get to choose how I respond to Unexpected Things.
Good Things Always Come. - Neghar Fonooni